


Faith and Lies

by ElissaMaeCousland



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Dark Romance, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-09 12:02:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3248924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElissaMaeCousland/pseuds/ElissaMaeCousland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, what did you guys think? I'm wondering if I should turn this into a full story, but my Solavellan fic would be taking precedence for quite while. So would you guys like for this to continued or not? The grammar is a bit off in this, but it shouldn't make you want to drive knives into your eyes. If it does then I will gladly edit it later:) Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote>





	Faith and Lies

Autumn leaves no longer gusted around Skyhold’s grounds. Instead flurries of snow danced through the air and down to the cold winter soil. It was the dead of winter and it seemed that it would be lasting for quite some time. One could tolerate the frigid air if they were covered in furs or warmed by another, Mira Trevelyan was one of the lucky ones to have both layers of fur and the warmth of a lover.

She stretched out under a fur blanket that was made from one of her many exploits and worst enemies, a Great Bear. Mira propped herself up on her elbows to find the love of her life turned away from her, he was the Commander of her forces, her advisor on military matters, and the man that made her body tremble.

“Cullen,” Mira whispered his name and leaned over to him and kissed his cheek. “Do you intend to sleep forever?”

Cullen let out a soft groan when he felt Mira’s lips against his cheek, and he turned to lay on his back so he could look up at her. His deep brown eyes opened and were full of light and mischief. Not many were able to make his eyes light up in such a manner: only Mira and his family were able to see the intensity of the love he held for them.

His lips curled into a small smirk before he reached up to Mira and moved a strand of platinum blonde hair behind her ear. His eyes locked with hers and his hand slipped from that lock of hair and moved along her cheek and to her chin, which he then lightly held in the palm of his hand.

“Do _you_ intend to coax me out of _your_ chambers,” Cullen purred to her before he pulled her gently down to him and kissed her. “If not…then I don't believe I will be leaving anytime soon.” He murmured against her lips with his smirk only deepening.

Mira rolled her eyes at Cullen’s teasing and pushed him back down onto her bed after he started to sit up so he could further their kiss. “Don’t be an ass.” She said as she hovered above his lips with her lavender eyes glowing from the flames in her fireplace.

Cullen chuckled at Mira’s forcefulness and she felt her heart skip a beat at the deep melodic sound that escaped his chest. She wished that she could hear him laugh more often, but he was always so serious and disciplined. However, he would always lighten up just a bit around Mira so that would have to do for the time being.

“It’s one of my many characteristics that you adore, is it not?” The Commander mused as his eyes danced from her eyes to her lips and back up to her eyes. He wanted to kiss her, no he _needed_ to kiss her; it brought him back from the edge he constantly tiptoed across. There were so many illusions in his life and she was the one constant. The one reality that he could truly depend upon.

Every night he slept alone he had the worst nightmares, but when he was with her, he felt safe and whole. Some nights he was lucky to not have any nightmares if Mira was firmly curled around him.

Mira huffed at Cullen’s response and kissed the scar on his lip. Which only made him laugh again since the sensation made his nerves jump as if they were being teased with a feather.

“Yes, well…” Mira paused when she felt fingertips moving along her side and down her left hip. She narrowed her eyes at Cullen and pulled away from him with her lips going into a pout. “You are _not_ going to tempt me into staying in bed with you  _again_.”

Cullen’s amber eyes were beginning to darken at the thought of him seducing her into staying in bed with him for yet another time that morning. His fingers still flowed along her body and only stilled when he felt Mira’s hand wrapping around them. She was so smooth and warm. His thoughts were dominated by thoughts of their bodies and limbs being entangled with one another. Cullen was confident that his desire for Mira would never wane. After all, she was the one he had been waiting for his whole life

“Mira…” Her name was like honey on his lips and every time he spoke her name, her body ached. “You still owe me for being away so long and then coming back with a wound no less.”

When he found out that Mira had been injured out on an escapade with Cassandra, Dorian, and Sera. Well, he was beyond worried and the moment she had returned to Skyhold: he fawned over her and personally saw to it that the surgeons maintained contact with her.

Mira arched a brow at Cullen when he said that she still owed him for being injured, but then a look of seriousness overtook her face when she felt his hand pressing hers into the scar that curled around a quarter of her waist.

“Cullen, it’s been months since that incident. I'm more than fine and I am quite sure that I showed how sorry I was. Eventually, you are going to have to find another excuse for keeping me wrapped in your embrace.”

She spoke in a tender tone and squeezed Cullen’s hand before she used her leverage on him so that she straddled him. “But…” She ran her nails up his arms which made Cullen growl as goosebumps rose from his skin. “I will show you just how recovered I am, however, this is the _last_ time for this morning.”

Cullen sat up and moved his hands to Mira’s waist. He kissed her collarbone and smiled. “Whatever you say, my love.”

The fire crackled and popped as its crimson and orange flames curled around one another and shadows were cast all along the Inquisitor’s room. The shadows highlighted the two lovers who were entangled with one another; a mage and a ex-templar, quite the forbidden pairing. Or so the nobles loved to whisper to one another.

As long as they adored one another and loved each other, then they both found the gossip humorous. It would had been far worse if there was nothing between them for anyone to talk about.

**Two Months Later:**

Mira knelt before Andraste’s statue in the small chapel that was housed in Skyhold’s garden. Her eyes were shut and her hands were firmly clasped together. The dawn’s rays were just beginning to shine through the stained glass windows, casting hues of ruby and sapphire upon Mira. Yet she did not feel the warmth of those rays.

“Maker, please do not forsake us…please…please just let me wake up from this reality.”

She opened her eyes and found that her hands were flattened against her stomach and soon her hands glowed orange. Mira bit her lip and stood with her body rigid and mind rushing with thoughts. She was pregnant and Cullen had no idea that his child was growing within her.

With a shaky sigh Mira tried to maintain her breath, but every time she thought she could leave Andraste’s chapel; she found her breath coming out in pants and her heartbeat quickening to the point of where she heard it inside her head.

“He says that he accepts me for being a mage, b-but…if…” Mira could not even finish her whimper and felt as if she would break down right before Andraste, but then the door to the shrine began to open.

Mother Giselle walked into Andraste’s chapel and was surprised to see the Inquisitor standing before Andraste. It was long before the morning ceremonies, but in recent weeks it seemed that the Inquisitor was becoming more and more present at the chapel. Giselle never asked what spurred the sudden change in how often Mira came to the chapel, but she could tell that Mira was clearly worried about something.

“Child, are you alright? You appear to be rather flushed.” Giselle asked as she began to light the many candles at the base of Andraste’s shrine. She only looked at Mira out of the corner of her eyes because she knew that young woman would become all the more closed off if she knew that she was being observed.

Mira had regained her composure before Giselle had come in, but her body was still trembling under her robes and apparently her face still looked flushed. She forced a smile at the Revered Mother and let out a small laugh.

“Thank you for your concern, but I just haven't been sleeping all that well. I still have nightmares of Corypheus and our final battle.”

It was the perfect lie and one that could be easily believed since anyone could relate to being restless after dealing with such an abomination. Mother Giselle knew that there was still something much darker than simple nightmares, however. After tending to many flocks of the faithful over the years, she knew when people were not saying what truly plagued their hearts. 

“I will speak with the alchemists and see if they can procure an herbal remedy for your restlessness. In the mean time, I suggest you confide in The Maker; he may be able to ease your mind, my dear child.”

 Mira nodded in acknowledgment and maintained her fake smile before she replied to Mother Giselle. “May his light guide us when darkness clouds our way. Thank you, Mother Giselle, I will think on what you said.”

Mira then left the chapel and found her lavender eyes grow cold at the thought of The Maker assisting her in her ordeal. _“The Maker has abandoned me…why else would he let this happen to me…happen to us.”_ She thought to herself with her lips still curled into the perfect smile, yet her eyes were absent of any light that her smile may had feigned.

Ever since Mira found that she was pregnant, she knew that she was becoming more detached from the world, from Cullen. At first she tried to stay normal, but every night that she rested her head on his chest, she could feel the weight of her secret starting to strangle her. Cullen also began to notice that she was growing more distant from him and he made all the more effort to hold her, kiss her, and love her; but nothing changed

Mira entered Skyhold’s judgment chambers and smelled the rich broth the cooks were making for themselves. The aroma of this broth could practically be smelled up in her chambers if the cooks were adding their special spices.

She used to love the smell of this broth, but now it made her sick to her stomach and slightly light-headed. With a hand inconspicuously pressed to her flat stomach, Mira leaned against a hidden corner and closed her eyes.

“Mira?” A familiar voice called out from a side hallway and Mira instantly knew who was calling for her, who had stumbled upon her in her moment of weakness. She covered her other hand over the one that was holding her stomach and made it look like she was simply resting with her hands pressed close to her body.

“Varric…” Mira stated with a tone that tried too hard to be filled with happiness. Varric had become a close friend to Mira when they dealt with his past lover Bianca. So she would have to be careful around him since he would also question her health just as Giselle did.

Varric’s empathetic golden-brown eyes locked with Mira’s now stoic eyes and he found himself bristling under their focus. The dwarven author had noticed that Mira was becoming all the more closed-off to those close to her, and he thought that it was finally time for him to say something.

“Mira, are you alright? Now, don't give me any bullshit, I know there is something wrong and you know that you can trust me.” He started to try and persuade her into divulging what was going on with her, but Mira was trying to keep herself from looking like she was going to pass out. So,  she was barely focusing on anything that Varric was saying, all she knew was that she had to go lay down.

“Varric,” Mira grimaced as the queasiness got worse and further spread throughout her body, she needed to go to her chambers that very instant.

“Shit, Sparkie, you look like you're about to faint. You can’t tell me something isn't wrong, Curly has practically been hounding me for answers!” Varric hissed as he saw Mira flinch and curl into herself.

In the past weeks, Cullen had been pestering Varric if he knew why Mira was becoming so distant with him. He thought he had said or done something wrong and if Mira wasn't going to tell him then one of her closest friends should be able to tell him what was going on, but that clearly did not go as well as Cullen had planned. So to finally get some answers for Cullen and for himself, Varric decided that he needed to confront Mira.

If the current sight before him was a sign to tell him that he made the right decision, then Varric wondered how much sooner he should had confronted Mira. He started to walk towards her with his eyes holding her chilling gaze.

“You know you can trust me, Mira.” Varric was now only about two feet away from her. Mira’s bottom lip was quivering and she nearly broke down into telling Varric what was going on, but she steeled herself and her gaze became deadly.

“I’m _perfectly_ fine! The only thing that is bothering me is the fact that people _constantly_ question my every move and word!” Mira finally snapped and realized that she would fully lose herself if she did not flee from Varric.

Without another word Mira turned on her heel and stormed away from Varric and passed all the nobles and guards. One young scout tried to stop Mira and was rewarded with a murderous glower which made the poor scout cower and scurry off. Surprisingly enough,  this scout was the same one that Cullen had scared off whenever he and Mira first kissed up on the battlements.

She could feel everyone’s eyes on her back and they only made her feel as if she was crawling out of her skin even more so. She would be willing to bet that the latest rumor would be about the Inquisitor losing her mind or that she had finally fallen to demonic possession.

After Mira passed by her throne, she noticed that Josephine was coming out of her office and was walking towards her, so Mira quickened her pace and was soon through the door that led up to her chambers.

With every step that Mira took up the stairs to her chambers, she felt her resolve crumbling away and soon there were tears streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't even reach the top of the stairs before she collapsed to her knees and shook with silent sobs.

She was the savior of the world, the leader of the Inquisition, the woman on everyone’s lips, and now it seemed that she was the fool who accidentally ended up pregnant. There would be no dreaming all of this away nor there any prayers that would sooth her mind or heart.

Minutes passed by before Mira finally found enough strength to pull herself to her feet and finish walking up the stairs. The cooks were most likely serving the broth and Cullen would be honing his own skills and body at this time. There were many times where Mira had felt alone in her life, but this would had to have been the loneliest she had ever felt.

Knowing that everyone kept going on with their lives and were in such jovial spirits, it made her feel as if she was some kind of freak looking in from the outside. Time wouldn't stop if she disappeared or died, it would keep rushing forward and would record her just as another being who had been manipulated by its never-ending currents.

Mira stood before a mirror and found a reflection of someone she did not recognize. She shakily reached out and touched the glass. It was so cold to the touch, but the reflection it showed was even colder. The reflection’s eyes were devoid of all life and light, it simply looked like a shell of a person. However, the fact that this was a reflection of Mira’s current state, well, that terrified her even more.

Without even thinking, Mira’s left hand went into a fist and crashed into the mirror, sending shards of glass flying past her face and body. Blood ran down her hand as broken glass dug into her fist and sliced her flesh into ribbons. She could feel the cut burning and the blood dripping from her hand, but other than Mira felt nothing. With a low hiss, her right hand became enveloped in an emerald aura as she pressed that hand to her wounded one and began to heal herself.

She stared at the shards of glass that were now being marred with crimson stains, her reflection seemed all the more hollow when every angle of her visage was reflected. Broken glass was tenderly pulled out of her flesh, thanks to the magic’s force and healing properties. Once all the glass was no longer embedded in her hand, the wounds sealed shut and it was almost as if that whole ordeal had never transpired.

Mira walked over to one of her water basins and sunk her hands into the water and began to wash away the blood that covered her palm. The clear blue water turned into a cloudy dark color; once the blood was washed away, Mira dried her hands off and started to undo her hair from its clasp and allowed it to cascade down her back in a river of ivory and gold. She would dispose of the broken glass when she woke up later, for now she was too emotionally and physically exhausted to do anything.

With a low groan of pain, Mira climbed into her bed and pulled the silk covers over her trembling body. She half expected to feel Cullen curl up behind her,  but he wasn't there. The absent of his touch began to drive itself into her thoughts.  Mira knew that she couldn't go on much longer with this burden. With these thoughts racing in her head, Mira's eyes fluttered shut just as she felt _something_ stir deep within her.

**Later That Day:**

"Maker's Breath, Mira! Why aren't you telling me what's wrong?! Was it something I said or did I do something wrong, please just tell me _something_!"

Cullen whispered with a barely restrained growl, while his normally soft brown eyes grew hard and devoid of all amusement. He ran his hand over the back of his head, his fingers lacing through the golden locks. That was one of the things he did out of habit or stress, and at this moment he was certainly stressed. 

Before Cullen had confronted Mira, he had went to Varric to see if she divulged anything to him,  and of course that was a waste of time. He then found out that Mira had went up to her chambers and was resting. He was going to go confront her then, but his softer side made him relent at the time. However, at this point Cullen's restraint was at its breaking point,  and he knew that if he did not confront Mira right this moment, he would truly snap at her., 

His eyes had softly closed when his fingers moved through his hair,  and he could almost imagine that it was Mira's fingers soothing him. However, her fingers were much more slender and refined than his own, so that illusion could not last for very long. 

"I will _not_ simply sit by and watch you recede into yourself, I-I can't," Cullen's voice broke and his eyes opened with pain flashing through them. "I can't lose you."

Mira stared at Cullen with an unfaltering gaze. If she allowed her heart to control her, then she would be pleading for Cullen to forgive her and resting her forehead against his own. She shook her head at the one man who used to know everything about her, feeling a sharp pain at the fact that was no longer true. Now,  Mira had changed and even she did not know who she was."

"I told you numerous times that you did nothing wrong, this is something I must handle on my own-"

"Why is this something that you must handle on your own!?" Cullen interrupted Mira with his voice rising and going hoarse. He never raised his voice at her before and never thought he would, but he was so fed up with Mira evading his questions and blatantly lying to his face.

If he thought that losing his patience with her would gain him any knowledge as to what was plaguing Mira, well, Cullen was a fool; or that was what Mira thought as her eyes narrowed at the commander of her troops.

"I'm not going to argue with you, it isn't worth it." Mira stated and turned on her heel, so she could leave Cullen's quarters. However, a weak and exasperated sounding chuckle stopped her in her tracks.

"Ah, I must have forgotten that nobility are able to conceal all their problems while those around them suffer the consequences, or is your templar distrust coming back?"

Cullen scowled at Mira's back,  which was now tense and at the same time he noticed that she was clenching and relaxing her fists, while the air around them began to crackle with tension and magic. 

"Not another word, Cullen." Mira hissed through gritted teeth as she felt her heart pounding in her head.

"As her highness commands," Cullen gave Mira a mocking bow and exhaled deeply through his nose before he stood straight once more and crossed his arms. "I shall follow your _every_ whim."

Mira spun on her heel with her violet eyes lit with fury and lightning sparks curled around her fingers and wrist. He was mocking her, trying to get some kind of emotion out of her, even if it was negative and she was falling right into his trap.

"How dare you insult me like this! I-I..." Mira paused when she noticed that Cullen was smiling at her. "You think this is some kind of joke, a game!?" Rage was bubbling up inside Mira and the air around them began to visibly pop with electricity.

" _Perhaps_ , I am harboring a secret so great that anyone else would buckle under its pressure! _Perhaps_ , I am not telling you something, so you don't have to worry about it! _Perhaps_ , I'm pregnant with your child!"

Just as that last "perhaps" slipped from Mira's lips, her eyes widened and she realized what had flown out of her mouth in her moment of anger.

Cullen's amber eyes grew wide and his lips parted while he tried to process what Mira had just flung at him with her verbal explosion. "Y-You're p-pregnant?" Cullen stammered at Mira, who started to back away from his desk and looked the most vulnerable she had looked in months. She looked almost as if she would shatter at the slightest caress, but there was also a look of relief in her body. Even though she was cowering away, she reminded him of who she used to be; fell in love with. There was a sense of familiarity with her that he had not felt in months.

"I..." Mira did not know what to say nor did she know what to feel, but she knew that she had to get out of that room; away from Cullen. She felt as if the walls were closing around her and were pushing to the edge of an abyss that she would never find her way out of. Without even fully realizing what she was doing, Mira ran out of Cullen's tower with her stunned lover stuck behind his desk, motionless. 

Cullen knew that he should have run after Mira, but he couldn't bring himself to move or even speak for that matter. He swallowed numerous times at the realization that Mira was pregnant and he was the father of the child growing within her. Cullen's cheeks were flushed from arguing with Mira, but now he was flushed due to the news that Mira gave him. It took nearly all of Cullen's strength to not collapse into his chair as he slowly sat back into it, his heart was racing and his hands trembling with the need to run through the hair they often laced through. 

Mira sprinted down the stairs from Cullen's tower and over to the stables, ignoring the calls from Master Dennet and Blackwall. She coaxed her favorite stallion out of the stables and mounted him as soon as he was saddled up.

This horse was the color of darkness itself and Mira named it 'Midnight' since she thought it fit him well enough. So, Mira patted Midnight's neck before she nudged him on the sides and began to rush out of Skyhold.

"Lady Inquisitor, where are you going!? There's a blizzard coming!" Master Dennet called after Mira, but she was already through Skyhold's gates and on her way across the bridge.

The white-haired mage didn't know how far she had spurred Midnight, but she knew that she couldn't slow down or stop; if she did,  then she would be found and she was not ready for what was waiting for her back at Skyhold. However, Cullen also hadn't been ready when she told him that she was pregnant, so sooner or later her choices would catch up with her.

Mira looked around her surroundings and realized that she was starting to go in circles, the wind and snow were not totally blocking out her vision yet; but she was having to focus on the glaring white in front of her. She could hear the wind beginning to pick up and the snow was no longer simply brushing against her skin, but striking against her flesh with a chilling bite. Midnight was also slowing down and ice lightly clung to his eyelashes while the wind screeched a low tune; Mira knew that she needed to get them inside a cave so they could wait out the blizzard.

While Mira was blundering about in the blizzard, Cullen had regained some of his composure and was rushing about with Cassandra, Sera, Dorian, and several soldiers. Cullen learned that after Mira ran from his tower, she went out into the wilderness when the blizzard was just beginning to start. He would die before he would let any harm come to her or the child growing within her, even though he still didn't know how he felt about the fact that he was going to be a father; but Cullen knew that he would support and love Mira no matter what. With everyone saddled up, the search party left Skyhold to bring back Mira.

Mira clutched her robes tightly to her body as she tried to keep herself warm with her hands pulsating with magic, but even with magic, Mira shivered and chattered. Midnight's pace had dropped to a slow clop on top of the ice and he was huffing with every step. Mira's eyes fluttered shut for a brief moment and when they need to felt Midnight suddenly lurch forward and then rear up high in the air, her eyes snapped open and just as she tried to grasp the reins tightly; it was too late. Mira's grip on Midnight's reins had grown lax as they progressed through the blizzard, so when he unexpectedly reared up, Mira was thrown from the saddle and fell onto the ice with a sickening crack.

She laid there with blood running down her face and watched Midnight gallop away in a fright, it seemed that a crack in the ice had made him trip and spook him to the point of where he threw Mira off and raced into the wintry nightmare. Mira tried to move, however, the moment she did, she gasped in pain and began to cough up blood. Her leg was all but shattered and a few of her ribs must had been broken, but Mira did not know how dire her situation truly was. A rib had punctured her lung and was filling up with blood and losing air as she writhed on the ice and snow. All she knew was that she had a sharp pain in her chest and the rest of her body was on fire with pain, but she had to remain calm or the situation would be all the more worse.

"S-Someone will come, Cullen-" Mira couldn't even finish her whimper before she hacked up more blood and rested her head back against the ice. Dark crimson blood was staining her clothing and making her tremble even more when the warmth of the blood was met with the bite of the cold. The blizzard had made the visibility drop to a point of where one could barely see their hand in front of them, and the temperature kept on plummeting as the ice storm raged on.

Mira found her eyes growing heavy with exhaustion and her breathing had become ragged and raspy as time dwindled down for the Inquisitor. If her collapsed lung didn't kill her first, then the cold would end her. Finally, Mira fell unconscious due to the exhaustion and pain pulsating through it. 

Several minutes passed by before Mira awoke with her body numb to all pain and cold. She tried to draw upon her magic for warmth, but for one of the first times in her life the magic stayed dormant within her. Even attempting to draw upon her magic drained Mira to the point of where she nearly lost consciousness, so it seemed that her magic would be of no use. There was another life growing inside of her and she was responsible for it; she couldn't give up. However, there was little she could do with a fractured leg and a collapsed lung.

She was the damn inquisitor and she survived an ancient magister, there would be no way that this would kill her. At least not without her putting up a fight,  and Mira intended to fight with what little she had left. So,  she drew upon her deepest magic reserves which made the mark on her hand flash while her hands began to chill and ice grew from her fingertips. She grabbed her broken leg and the ice wrapped around the fractured limb, thus stabilizing it for the time being. More blood came pouring out of Mira's nose, but she pulled herself to her feet with her last remaining strength. 

"Maker's Breath..." Mira knew exactly who uttered that curse the moment he head stopped swirling from her magic use. She turned and saw Cullen, Dorian, Sera, Cassandra, and several soldiers on horseback looking down at her. 

Cullen was off his horse and over to Mira in the matter of moments. He pulled her into his warm and strong arms with his nose burying into her blood-caked hair; she was safe or so Cullen thought. Yet no words were shared between Mira and Cullen, they were simply silent while the young Inquisitor started to feel herself teeter in Cullen's embrace. Then, blood suddenly burst out of Mira's mouth and splattered onto Cullen's armor and fur.

"Mira, Mira!?" Cullen roared as his mind processed what was occurring, while he felt the love of his life going limp in his arms. Her breath was so short and ragged that Cullen's heart could had beaten ten times and Mira's breath would still be stuck on her last intake of air. He gently laid her down on the ice as Dorian, Cassandra, and Sera came rushing to his side with Cullen noticing that his hands were shaking much like they had been when he was on lyrium.

"Dorian can you do anything!?" Cullen's voice was breaking as the raven-haired mage looked over to Mira with his eyes almost blank of all emotion. She was one of his closest friends and her she was dying right before him; he knew there was nothing he could do.

"I-I," Dorian bit his lip and found himself shaking his head and trying to keep his own voice strong and level. "I don't think there is anything I can do."

Cullen glared daggers at the Tevinter mage and found his hand curling into a fist even though he knew Dorian was right, however, he felt a nimble finger slip into his hand before it was fully closed. He looked down at Mira and found her trying to smile at him. "It'll be alright, Cullen, everything-"

"You're dying! Everything is far from being alright!" He whimpered into his ear as he brought her closer into his arms, but Mira shook her head and tried to keep smiling. Everything was becoming so cold and dark for her. She tired to fight death,  and it seemed she had lost.

"Reach into my coat and take your lucky coin," Mira coughed up more blood and started to wheeze for what seemed like eternity until she got what little breath she left under control again. "It kept you safe for many years...even if I'm gone I want you to be safe."

The Commander's eyes widened at his love's final request and he found himself simply doing what she asked him to do. There was so much that he wanted to say to her and yet no words were coming from him. His fingers dug into the inside of Mira's coat and had to lightly tug the fabric away from the mage since it was sticking to her from all the blood. Cullen then pulled out the coin that somehow wasn't bloodied as the rest of Mira and he looked down at it. He knew that it wasn't an actual lucky coin, but the fact that Mira had it when this all happened, well, Cullen's faith was shattered.

He was just about to tell Mira that he loved her and that he would see her again, but she was gone. The smile on her face had never disappeared but the light in her eyes was no longer lit. Mira Trevelyan, the love of his life, the Inquisitor had passed on without him being able to say his final farewell. The sound that came from Cullen's throat was the one that sent shivers down Cassandra's spine, it sounded so hollow and wounded that your heart would be shattered.

"Cullen...we have to go." Cassandra spoke lowly as she placed a hand on Cullen's shoulder who flinched when he felt her hand. He wanted only Mira's touch, but she was dead and the blizzard would only get worse. He couldn't put others at risk for his grieving so he stood with Mira held close to his chest and simply nodded. "You're right. Let's go."

His voice was steady but his body was trembling and he felt nothing but numbness. So, he began to walk back towards his horse with the others watching him with their own thoughts filled with Mira and the time they had shared with her.

* * *

Mira looked around a cavern filled with darkness and wondered if she was dead, she had to be dead. However, as she looked around this place of darkness she felt her heart beating and she was standing.

"What's going on?" Mira whispered to herself as she walked around in the dark, but she soon realized that she was feeling fine and could call upon her magic; so she did. Fire burst from her left hand and soon hovered above her in a large scarlet and orange orb.

As soon the fire began to illuminate the cavern, Mira saw a shadow quickly crawl up a wall and hiss before sinking into the wall with low laughter. The mage narrowed her eyes at the direction of where the shadow disappeared into, but she stopped when she felt something drip onto her head. The substance rolled down Mira's hair and onto her face with an odd warmth. It felt like water, yet there was something very different about it. It was vibrating and getting hotter by the second. Just when she was starting to figure out what the liquid was, Mira heard a noise that sounded like a million legs scurrying about.

"Come out!" Mira yelled as the ball of fire flashed and expanded thus making more shadows appear and hiss before they sunk into the wet cavern walls. 

"Foolish little girl trying to command me? The gall she has, but I suppose it is useful information since it illuminates yet another side of her." A voice cackled and echoed all throughout the cavern. It sounded like a million screeching birds and chilled Mira to the bone.

"You saw what could happen if you did not tell your lover the truth, you may thank me for that. Although I do give you my thanks for showing me how you would react in a situation such as that. Just one more step closer to my full possession, girl."

 Mira's head was swimming as she tried to piece together what the being was saying; it seemed that this was all just a game to it. She thought that she had died since she felt her breath leave her body and everything go numb, but was it all just an illusion; was she still alive?

 "Who or what are you and where am I?" Mira asked with her tone icy and sharp.

She was not in the mood for any games and if this creature thought that it could toy with her, well, fire would be its next main meal. As a warning, Mira's orb of fire flashed once more and expanded further and this time the creature or creatures that had been running away from the light stepped forward. Before Mira could recognize what they were, the beings began to curl around themselves and soon they became one solid mass of pink tissue and limbs.

"You thought you ended me, you were wrong. I have been waiting for months for a weakness in your defenses and now is the perfect time for me to seize control of you. I am Envy and I will soon be you." Envy chuckled and disappeared into the ground leaving Mira speechless.

She thought that she had ended Envy long ago but it seemed that she was wrong. It tried to take control of her and become her and once again Envy was trying to do the same thing, she had to admit that it had determination. 

"As for where you are, well, Mira you are in your mind all over again and this time I will succeed. I will be you and you will be no more" 

All of a sudden, Mira felt claws wrap around her feet and they started to pull her into the ground. She let out a yell and curse as the orb of fire broke up into smaller balls of flames and soon several crashed into the claws and burnt them to a crisp. She pulled herself out of the ground and felt sick to her stomach, she should not have been able to sink through the ground in the first place let alone pull herself back out of it. Nothing seemed real and the more Mira tried to think about it, the more she felt sick. If she was still alive then that meant that she was still pregnant with a living child growing within her; she could not be reckless.

Everywhere she looked there were shadows everywhere, and they were all mocking with their screeching laughter. So Envy could make more of itself or split itself into singular beings? No, that couldn't be right, since Envy would was only one demon the last time they fought. It was manipulating Mira's frazzled state and using illusions to throw her off balance. Mira felt her arms pulsating with electricity and soon bright violet streaks of lightning arced throughout the cavern and stuck Envy and its illusions. The moment the lightning met the illusions, they hissed and dissipated but not without a screeching like a banshee.

She was correct that the illusions of Envy were simply illusions. Now, if she could keep herself calm and collected  she would beat Envy for sure this time.

"Is that all the power you have? Pathetic. I thought you were so sure that you could possess me." Mira taunted the demon which a smirk as her confident began to build itself up.

Envy looked around the cavern and saw the platinum-haired mage smirking at him, yet another side of Mira that it had to perfect. The more sides Mira showed to Envy, the more it knew who Mira was. So, with a low chuckle, it began to put its plan into action and once sunk into the earth. She would belong to Envy and it would become her, she was its perfect host for a time and now it wanted more.

Mira's violet eyes scanned the darkness as her fire stretched out and hovered above her with the air around her only intensifying with electricity. This would be the end of Envy and just as that thought crossed her mind, Envy burst through the ground with its claws going straight for Mira's heart. However, Mira was ready for the attack, and the claws went right through Mira who had become transparent and invulnerable for a time. She countered with a blade of pure magical energy, and it cut right through Envy's tissue, thus shredding the pink mass into blood and gore.

Mira was panting while she became solid again and vulnerable, but it was all over. She fell to her knees and let out a sigh, she was safe. However, just as she began to catch her breath, Mira started to hear a voice.

"Mira, wake up! Are you alright?!" 

Mira awoke with a low groan and found Cullen sitting on the side of her bed with his amber eyes wide with concern. She looked at him and soon blinked several times before tears started to fall from her eyes.

"Cullen! Oh Maker, you're here! I'm alive, t-this is real!" Mira whimpered into Cullen's chest who jumped when Mira suddenly hugged him and started to cry. He had not felt her warmth in so long and his heart skipped a beat as he wrapped her in his arms.

"Shh. I'm here, I'm right here," He had never seen Mira cry this badly before, and it killed him to see her in such a state of distress. "You were screaming and you wouldn't wake up, but I'm right here."

Mira breathed in Cullen's strong scent and found herself nuzzling him before she regained control of her crying. She sat back and looked into Cullen's eyes while she held his hands which were steady in her grasp.

"Cullen, I need to tell you something. I don't know how you will react, but I'm so sorry. I should had told you sooner, but I was scared and I wasn't thinking-"

Cullen interrupted her with a tender kiss and his rested his forehead against hers. "Mira, you can tell me anything. Nothing would ever stop me from loving you, I swear." He smiled and kissed her forehead before sitting back again and waited for her to tell him what was making her so stressed.

When he kissed her, Mira felt as if everything was back to normal, and she wondered how she could had ever been so stupid with keeping her pregnancy a secret.

"Well, I...I'm pregnant. It has only been a few months and I know I should had told you from the beginning, but..." Mira didn't know why she kept it a secret anymore. Cullen was always so understanding and supportive of her, yet her mind and heart battled one another so she had been torn between revealing the truth back then or keeping it a secret for only the Maker knows how long.

Cullen stared at Mira who was nearly crawling out of her skin, but he shook his head and enveloped her within his arms once again. "Alright. Everything will be fine, we'll get through this." He purred into her ear and kissed her neck.

Mira buried her face into Cullen's shoulder and closed her eyes as she felt the love of her life rubbing her back and murmuring words of comfort to her.

"I'm just glad that there are no longer any secrets between us anymore, that I know all of you..." Cullen said with his lips going into a smirk as he kept rubbing Mira's back. "You're safe."

**Author's Note:**

> Well, what did you guys think? I'm wondering if I should turn this into a full story, but my Solavellan fic would be taking precedence for quite while. So would you guys like for this to continued or not? The grammar is a bit off in this, but it shouldn't make you want to drive knives into your eyes. If it does then I will gladly edit it later:) Thanks for reading!


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